HopelessDreamer

Quite amazing how the year just went by...and how much has changed and how much still remains the same.

Well a quick update might do the job. I am still working for the same "amazing" company but swapped departments last August. I am not dealing with our loyal rude customers in customer service...I am dealing with accounts!! wow. Anybody envious? I know nothing better than starring into numbers whole day long...and speak to angry providers because we have not paid them, or have paid them too little / too much / too late / too soon etc. I mean, what the heck!!!

Oh, yeah, update number two - in February this year I have abandoned my landlady and moved into my "own" rented little home. Hurrayyy. I guess it still doesn't quite register with me that I am living in my own flat.

And my landlady? (Or sorry, ex-landlady)She is doing great. Her depression ceased and last time I saw her on the street I nearly had a fit. She had a major makeover in her life...and wow. I was totally impressed. After being offsick for a long time with depression, she totally blew my mind - she currently works in some office job and is on the mountain top of her life. Congrats.

Apart from the above - what else did I manage to do...in past year or so...I went for a trip to the US - life changing. Can't sleep ever since. I've managed to find Mr. Perfect but we cannot be together. Another reason why I climbed up few sizes in my clothing - comfort eating. I've spent yet another Christmas without my parents - awesome...that would be the 4th in the row...this year..if I am not with them for Christmas I swear not to celebrate any.

And that would be about it. Oh no - forgot to say...that umbrella I bought last year? Well...its life didn't last a month. :-D

So - hi and bye and see you round.

HD

I had this really long day full of really long calls. I wish for a really long, quiet evening, but that never happens.

Just got off the phone with my mum. That always cheers me up. She is this wonderful woman, with such a fantastic sense of humour and ideas, that you forget about all the crap that happend to you during the day, after just 5 minutes listening to her.

It was awesome. I ended up crying/laughing as loud as I could. (screw the neighbours and my landlady who probably thinks I lost it for good) You just kinda need to go mental after a day at work like I had.

My colleague also had a "great" day today. She had this really nasty guy on the phone. He didn't want to asnwer any of the questions and she couldn't really help him.

Straight from the beginning he started to be very abusive (I felt like taking her call and telling him to xxxxxxxxx)

I have to say, my colleague was doing well, bless her. Some people just have to be nasty - full stop. Who cares that he is a director of some unnamed company. You want something? You follow the rules like everybody else, or get lost. I think I am right on that one?!? I hate when people try to pretend they are something better

So, what was the outcome? This nasty customer, who started calling my colleague names and abusing her for not being english (He must have guessed from her name a very slight accent) after a while he...buggered off.

In about ten minutes I answered a call from a different department in our company.
"Mr Abusive" called some manager to complain about my colleague to. And told him how useless and horrible my colleauge was.

He apparently said to the manager: "I had a ten minutes hell with this useless woman on the phone."

That was it! I went for it. I said: "What? 10 minutes of hell she had with him you mean!" And I told the manager what I witnessed.

I mean, common, I wasn't deaf. I could hear him shouting...even the people at the other end of the office could hear him. She didn't do nothing wrong, just tried to help him and asked him few simple questions (name, DOB etc) Obviously it was far beyond his "expertise".

But enough about work...weekend is here!!!!!!!!!! hurrrrraaayyyyy. Hope nobody dares to wake me up before 10am. At least once in two weeks!

Let's hope for some brighter future! (well, hopefully with Kevin being our new Prime Minister, life's gonna be better now! I was going to say, he took on a tough job, how does one tidy up a mess like that!? But I am sure, a clever man with some common sense and a brain will achieve a lot! GOOD LUCK )

Nite nite bloggers.

Well pathetic, but I keep on counting all day long, I count how long before I have to leave the house in the morning, I count hours, minutes....then seconds before each break, lunch, end of shift...and days before the weekend. I suppose I should stop counting and enjoy life a bit! ha! and back to counting...lol..my holiday is coming up in just 17 days!!!! I guess you got the idea...yes, I am EXCITED!

It's so cold out there...I am still defrosting. What on earth is going on with the weather. I was forced to finally buy the new umbrella...it started to rain when I was on my lunch break. Anybody wants to bet how long it will survive this windy weather? Based on the quality ...i would say...I give it a month! (I guess I am too positive, this is my umbrella number?? ......hmm....that would a big number!)

My landlady moved the whole sittingroom around...I opened the door and thought I am at the neighbourgh's! hahahah. I nearly started to apologize for intruding! ahahahahahhah
Amazing how people manage to spend sick leave huh? yep!

Bye for now!

Hello!

To reply to Kevin's comment for my yesterday's note...yes...well, I ended up sitting in the office, dreaming away..my favourite activity LOL. But you would be surprised how many ppl actually call on the bank holiday. I mean, don't they need to go and visit somebody or...have some fun outside? But hey. It wasn't too bad, so I shouldn't complain. Not sure if those calling were "our loyal customers". After having some "screamers" on the line I had some nice calls too.

Today was a bit of a different story though. BUSY BUSY BUSY. You know customer service sometimes reminds me of a battle field.(Well, at least "our" customer service call center)It's a moment of peace and quiet..and then you get "bomb" after "bomb".

We had long queues of customers waiting on the line...duty manager running around like mad trying to hurry us up. As if I could say:

"I am ever so sorry, Mrs Brown, but I will have hang up on you now. I can't answer any of your further queries because I have another 30 customers waiting in the queue."

Thank God the day is over. Three more to go!

I am in quite a good mood today, so I was extremelly helpful. Not that normally I am not, but you know...when you like totally go out of your way and do a lot more than expected...that was me today. I feel good after all that.

My friend called if I want to come and join her for coffee in my lunch. That was rather nice and the caffein gave me a good boost for the afternoon! (hence the motivation to work hard)

Sooo!! I am ready for a lovely quiet evening. I am not a home hermit, but...my goodness...call center just make you feel like...coming home, shutting the door and ....rest. Anybody doing anything exciting tonight?

Bye for now.

Hey,

I survived the day at work. WOW. I hate working bank holidays knowing that everybody else is sitting at home (at least everybody else I know). On the other side though...it was a bit quieter than normal, not as many phone calls. There are some decent people out there who realize that if they are off...they should leave other people in peace LOL

So, a nice evening before me...shame I gotta go to work again tomorrow. but hey, don't we all. (almost all of us)

Sitting here, drinking tea and thinking...isn't it nice when it's raining and you are indoors? I love that! Each rain drop hitting the window...niceeeee.

Have a good evening bloggers!

Hello,

Yep. There we go...Sunday night and I should better be going to bed or else. I have to work tomorrow. Our company does not shut at the Bank Holidays, we have to be there. Just in case some of our "fantastic" customers decide to give us a "bell". That's customer service for you.

I hope they will all get preoccupied and forget we exist. At least that way I can sit and read, write, or get inspiration for my still not finished book or just chill. But since I know my luck..i don't think that will be the case.

I had a good weekend. Stayed with my friend who just only moved to a new flat. Very exciting. We went to walk in the morning, just to browse the area and I had a fantastic day.

Shame I have to work tomorrow. I hope you all not working will enjoy the day off for me!
Night night.

I really don't know now....Am I getting so desperate to talk to somebody I don't know, somebody totally unrelated, not acquinted with me? Not sure, but this is my third note today.

Yes, the work (team) dinner is over...except for having nearly twenty quid less in my purse, I feel totally full up, totally fed up and tired. Just about to die.

It's not many of us in the team, but it was the loudest table in the whole restaurant. Lucky for us, it was quite a big space. But still. My headache is reaching the skies!

Quite clearly the half of the people who were lucky enough to finish by 4pm today visited local pubs "on the way" to the restaurant for the dinner. So, when the other half (included me) got there for the meal..we were welcomed by this loud, shouting group of people who were very well making themselves look like idiots in this posh place. Typical.

I am home now, in this serene silence..just about to hit the pillow and set off for the journey through the dream land. I wish I didn't have to get up in the morning! But my friend decided she would love to go to some craft show tomorrow morning. It's usually very good with so much stuff and ideas for gifts, but I am not sure I will wake up in the morning...i might struggle to wake up in the afternoon.

Nite nite!

Ok, I can't delay it anymore. going out now. This is going to be the most boring dinner ever. ppl...fingers cross...I hope to be home by 10pm. oh well...i give up and go.
bye for now.

I am not particularly a home hermit...but I would loooove to stay home tonight. Too tired to face leaving the house again. Just only managed to get here from work. But we have a team do...and I have to go, otherwise I am going to be told by my manager that I am not "participating" in the team event. Don't you just hate to be forced to do something you don't want to do?

I think it's an indian restaurant we are going to, plus they are going clubbing after that. No, thank you. I am going home. My weekend is going to be the most hectic in a while...

Yesterday we went for a big company meeting...just as I supposed...boring, boring, boring and more work for us to do today. It was really deadly at work today. I feel like my head is going to explode any minute

But hey, time to get ready.

Good evening, everyone!

First of all...today was my first day back at work (after being off sick) ...I felt like a zombi from a different planet for the first 45 minutes. By the time the first hour was over...I thought, gosh...it feels like I've been here for an eternity already...and it's only 10am. By 11am I totally admired myself for how on earth did I manage to survive last year and a half in this job? I HATE IT!!!! Then I survived the rest of the day and came home. :-)

I love my new room's look. I got rid off all the dark colours...I got few bits a pieces...like a new bed throw in gorgeous cream colour...few rags to put over the carpet...also in cream...and few of the gorgeous spring green colour accessories like...a new lamp, a candle, this "hanging thing" with pockets in it (to put on my door)and gorgeous green small circle carpet and also some green boxes for storage...

YEP I am on the go...more will come. This cream colour totally made my room look twice as big. And trust me...this room is tiny! So, I am so excited. Oh yeah, I got new bedding set too (in white).

LOL. I feel like a little girl at Christmas time. But! I haven't felt so excited about my room for a long time...so...let me enjoy it!!!!!!

Tomorrow we have some boringmeeting at work... They always try to convince us that our company is the best, the most wonderful and the most wanted...but I am not getting convinced. Even if it was..what good is it bringing us when it's the top bosses who pack their pockets, have three cars, villas and swimming pools and we only get the "thank you for your hard work" at each year's company review. I don't see any fair point about that.

But more on the positive note...my holiday is coming up at the end of the month. Hurraaaayyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, I am just going to enjoy the quiet of the evening and need to think of some inspiring presents for my family...that will take me forever. Mum's the easiest...but dad and my lil bro? No idea at all!

I'd better get on the case. So, have to fly. Good evening everybody!

Just paid for my holiday. I can't wait to get out of here. I feel so excited that I might decide to start packing now! lol

What an interesting day. Firstly my GP signed me off for another week. At least it's official so I don't have to be facing any mind battles about not being at work. Still feeling crap, but hey, I am going to look at the positive side.

I struggled to walk to the town to get some groceries..amazing how one is left to "die" of starvation. I am pretty much sure tomorrow all mates will call and ask if I need anything..too late my dears! again.

Just going to get writing again..got a new inspiration for my two main characters in the book. Hurrayyy...finally some brighter ideas :-) lol

I will keep it short and sweet tonight. so...good evening to you all!

Officially, this is my fifth day of being stuck at home. And what is the outcome? I don't feel any better, and if, perhaps even worse. Tomorrow I am supposed to go to work and I can't even think about it. I feel all swollen up from all the water I have been drinking in those five days...I feel like bottomless well. How am I going to be sitting in the office talking to customers when I sit at home with shut curtains in silence and I still can't get rid of the headache?

In such times as this...I start dreaming. Lucky me at least something gets me away from hopeless reality...yeah, hopeless dreams. :-) all together as you can see...there isn't much hope for me. But hey, not everybody's life is bright and cheerful.

My friend tells me it was sunny today? Aw, was it? I missed it again. (you can't see much through the total blind curtains + who really cares when not feeling well)

I am still waiting for somebody to reply to my job applications. I guess I will be a lottery winner quicker than getting a new job. And trust me, for somebody who never won anything in her life...this is a big statement.

I am getting tired of being tired. I feel like a prisoner in this little "cage" room I have here. Yeah, that's the right name. This isn't a chamber, room, little room...this is a cage. After spending last five days here I hate it even more.

I am sorry that I sound really negative day by day...it's just all so depressive. I am trying to look on the bright side...if I can see any bright side. The only bright thing that happend today was that I woke up in the morning, alive. I suppose I should stop complaining and go to say "hello" to my pillow. I guess we haven't seen each other for a while...exactly 15 minutes? wow. impressive. lol

And so, nite nite bloggers. I am holding on for brighter tomorrow! It can't get worse than now...can it?

PS, thought of a poem:

I am in a desert, wide and plain,
the sand's blown in my face,
I feel the pain.

I am in the middle of the Ocean
being tossed there and fro,
and the water's carrying me further,so far,
where it's taking me, I don't know.

I am standing on deserted Island,
around me, I cannot see
one living soul, one single tree.

I am alone in the darkness
waiting for someone to bring me the Light.
waiting for that gentle hand,
to end this hopeless night.

After I spent the whole weekend in bed, waiting for the antibiotics to kick in, so I can "run" back to work this morning...I gave up and stayed at home. I felt pretty much crap in the morning. I have to say I had mind battles about this "skiving" whole day long. And then my colleague send me "a get better" email to say: "I am so jeallous of you sitting at home right now, as it's pretty manic here." Boy, didn't that make me feel much better!

I've been thinking about all the decisions I am suppose to make. Everybody kind of expects you to do a certain thing. The most difficult part is to actually please everybody. That will never work. Somebody once said, you have to follow your own heart to lead you and show you the way...is it possibly you feel led in two ways? or is it just me going nutz here. I can't explain, but sometimes I feel so hopelessly left to swim or sink. And with my fantastic abilities...(can't swim) ...i will most definitely sink.

I've read through a book of mine that I wrote some six years ago...amazing how much one changes in six years. Yet I feel I still am this naive creature that I was then. Maybe more sarcastic and more uptodate with life's ways and customs...but..still a hopeless dreamer.
Gosh, how I hoped to actually publish the book...now I wonder, who would read this bluff?

Don't we have enough authors who describe any possible shape of romance? You name it from Danielle Steel...to novel authors in the past..I don't have a chance to beat Jane Austin's masterpieces. Timeless.

At times I get a hold of a book and after reading few pages I get an impression I could do better than that. Does it mean that any rubbish get published nowadays? Does it mean you just have to know ppl in right places? Or am I just to self-critical thinking that I don't stand a chance? I wish I knew what ppl think about my books, yet I fear that nobody would like them. Pathetic right?

I will be packing my suitcase in about a month time! hurrayyyy...not sure why on earth am I rejoicing. it's only for two weeks. But with the helping my brother to revise, I will feel like being back at the college...down the memory lane. But it feels good to wave this town a farewell, at least for a short time. Maybe I am quite lucky that I am feeling crap, otherwise I would start packing now. I am that idiot who kinda gets excited and over excited ages before the holidays.

I better get going...

What a boring evening.

I am laying here in my bed, waiting for the painkillers and antibiotics to kick in...my head is "boiling" at the moment. I might not make much sense while talking tonight. I just feel a bit rubbish. A bit?

The Moon rudely laughesat me through my room's window. It's quite a clear night here, I have to say. The only thing is..I wish I was well and somewhere else.

Did I mention? I hate my room. It's small, doesn't look very stylish and feels rather like a cage. Three walls and a window, no space to put things, no space to breath...

Renting seems to be the only affordable way to live. Why don't I take a loan? Well, I suppose I don't like the feeling of being tied down by something.

It can be quite frustrating at times, when you think you are stuck. I have been trying to apply for new jobs, hoping it will solve many problems...but just as I supposed, no replies. I mean, to find a decent job cannot be so hard right? At times I feel so useless, so hopeless...I think I am a bit too low today. I don't have the thermometer here...but according to what I feel like at the moment..it must be quite a fever.

I was writing this afternoon..yes, writing my book. Book that nobody else will read, cos so far it's only my way to "de-stress". Amazing how it works. The only thing is, one loses the sense of reality after a while and lives as if still in the book. Which can become a bit of a trouble.

It's nice though, for a while you can be where you want to be, who you want to be, who with and do what you like. For a while ppls around actually respect your decisions, if you want them to. Great feeling that is! And trust me, I know something about that. There are too many ppl in my life who ask for my opinion, and once I give it, they will critisize and tell me I am too "naive" and a "big dreamer", or stupid. Well, don't ask then! I thought. What's the point of asking, if you can't respect what I say!?

Yeah, I am in the trouble actually. Facing some big decisions here...and with my undecisive character...it's going to be pretty tough. Fingers crossed I will come out of this one "alive" and "kicking".

Oh well, enough of me moaning. Nite nite.