What a boring evening.
I am laying here in my bed, waiting for the painkillers and antibiotics to kick in...my head is "boiling" at the moment. I might not make much sense while talking tonight. I just feel a bit rubbish. A bit? 
The Moon rudely laughes
at me through my room's window. It's quite a clear night here, I have to say. The only thing is..I wish I was well and somewhere else.
Did I mention? I hate my room. It's small, doesn't look very stylish and feels rather like a cage. Three walls and a window, no space to put things, no space to breath...
Renting seems to be the only affordable way to live. Why don't I take a loan? Well, I suppose I don't like the feeling of being tied down by something.
It can be quite frustrating at times, when you think you are stuck. I have been trying to apply for new jobs, hoping it will solve many problems...but just as I supposed, no replies. I mean, to find a decent job cannot be so hard right? At times I feel so useless, so hopeless...I think I am a bit too low today. I don't have the thermometer here...but according to what I feel like at the moment..it must be quite a fever.
I was writing this afternoon..yes, writing my book. Book that nobody else will read, cos so far it's only my way to "de-stress". Amazing how it works. The only thing is, one loses the sense of reality after a while and lives as if still in the book. Which can become a bit of a trouble.
It's nice though, for a while you can be where you want to be, who you want to be, who with and do what you like. For a while ppls around actually respect your decisions, if you want them to. Great feeling that is! And trust me, I know something about that. There are too many ppl in my life who ask for my opinion, and once I give it, they will critisize and tell me I am too "naive" and a "big dreamer", or stupid. Well, don't ask then! I thought. What's the point of asking, if you can't respect what I say!? 
Yeah, I am in the trouble actually. Facing some big decisions here...and with my undecisive character...it's going to be pretty tough. Fingers crossed I will come out of this one "alive" and "kicking".
Oh well, enough of me moaning. Nite nite.
